Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Ang encounter ni Kitoy

This a story about a passenger and an Army solider at the bus terminal in Ecoland, Davao City. This is not a fairy tale story nor a fable. Maybe, fable in some ways because there are characters in this story who are animals in their own way.

Sundalo: “Abi, dalha na dire bag mo.”

Traveler: “Sir, camera na ha?” (Pina bira gamay ug mejo di maayo paggunit sa bag)

Sundalo: “Buy-i ba kay tanawon ko!” (mejo taas boses)

Traveler: Hinay lang ba kay camera na! (mejo syagit pud pasahero kay camera gud pero di gyud nya buy-an ang bag kay naa gud camera )Samtang daghan pa yawyaw ang sundalo ug di na sad maayo tinan-awan sa pasahero, iyahang gikuot ang Canon 17-35mm L na lens . Nakuyawan ang pasahero kay murag feeling sa sundalo baso lang nga naa beer. Hay sus, manong, ug nahulog to, di kabayad tatlo ka bulan mo na sweldo ato bords.

Sundalo: Abrihi ba kay tanawon nato kay camera man kaha! (taas na sad boses na pa-astig ang dating)

Traveler: Hinay lang lagi kay camera na! (kay iya man murag gina ukay na murag kamatis samtang di gyud buy-an sang pasahero ang iya bag kay camera gud. hadlok lang sya ma-tilt gamay kay kung madisgrasya, di pa kabayad ang sundalo..ma tenk u and sorry na lang ang lens)

Sundalo: Unsa man ka, abi mo ignorante ko??!! (syagit sa sundalo)

Traveler: Gina hadlok nimo ko?! wala ko nahadlok nimo. Gina ingnan ka lang na hinay-hinaya kay camera ikaw pa masuko. Abi mo nahadlok ko nimo?! (Sabay sarado sa bag ug nilakaw)
Nitindog ang sundalo ug mi-ingon: “Unsa man, ka minos ka nako?!!?” taas gyud iya boses. Lakaw lang ang pasahero sabay tutok sa sundalo.

Traveler: “Hello, tenyente..anak ni Boy. Naay imo tao dire sa terminal na arrogante. Wala man na unsa ako camera pero di lang ko ganahan the way nya handle it. Abi nya siguro kamatis lang ni dala nako.”

The lieutenant told the traveler to have him talk to the soldier. But the soldier refused to talk to his officer even if the traveler told him that it’s his superior. ” Sa HQ na lang mi kita, didto ta kita,” ingon sa sundalo sa traveler.

But the story did not end there… As the traveler went back to Davao City after an hour, he went straight to the office of his friend kay uban sila adto sa Task Force Davao HQ kay naa pud diay reklamo ang iya friend. Halos pareho ra, mga arrogant na TF Davao nga naa sa terminal. Ug didto man pud nilabay ang bus, so didto na sad nanaog ang traveler dala ang iyahang kamatis ay ang camera diay.

Pag-abot nilang duha sa TF Davao headquarters sa Ecoland, nangayo pasaylo si tenyente kay naulaw sya sa gibuhat sa iyahang tao. Ingon sa biktima na wala man to kaso unta kung nakiusap lang sya ug tarong kay mag inspection siya. Wala man to kaso unta kung maayo ang pag approach nya sa pasahero. Unsaon ta man kay sya pa man isog?

Pero nasabonan na sa tenyente tong iyahang tao na arogante kay aside pa sa pagka arogante pa sya sa pasahero, iya ba gi-isnab ang selpon sa pasahero na gi-offer aron storyahon sya sa iyang opisyal. So, magpalit pa to sabon ang tenyente unya kay manglaba gyud tong sundalo unya.

Sa dihang gidala na sa sulod sa TF Davao office kay para daw mas formal ang reklamo. Kelangan gyud daw mag narrate sa nahitabo, gusto sa opisyal na babae na madunggan sad ang side sa pasahero.

Sus, unsaon ta man kay di man diay sya kasabot ug Bisaya. Namroblema ang ang pasahero kay mas lami man gyud mag re-enact na Bisaya or Ilonggo gyud bords. Ingon sa mga opisyal tagalogin mo lang gyud kay di gyud daw sila kasabot sa Bisaya.

Ah, wala lami ang re-enactment kay mas lingaw gyud to unta kung Bisaya bah. Nagkalisud ang pasahero oi. Kapoi gyud mag Tagalog. Lisud man sad mag Ingles kay wala gyapon feelings. Mao, to ningkamot gyud ang pasahero na ma-narrate in Tagalog pero nagka guliyang gyud.

Gipatawag tong sundalo aron mahusay ang probema. Pero wa gyud nagpakita maski pag gi-ingnan na stay-put kay naay nag-reklamo nimo, nawala gyapon. Murag halata gyud sa babae na opisyal na masabonan na gyud sya kay niabot direkta sa iyang hari-hari na wala ni-agi sa iyaha kay iyaha man diay to tao. So iyaha gyud to command responsibilty.

Nakahibalo na sad diay ang sundalo na arrogante na naa syay cliente pagka-gabii kay nanawag diay ila hari-hari para imbestigahan. Mao to na nagkaguliyang sad sila kay nakaabot naman diay sa ilahang hari-hari.

Pasahero: “We understand your job, we understand the security procedures that every passgenger has to undergo before boardingthe bus. Pero sana wag naman ganun na napaka-arrogante. Kung nakiusap sya ng maayos, wala namang problema. Ang ayaw ko doon was, tumayo sya sa upuan nya at sinundan ako for about 2-3 steps away from his post.”

(Nagkalisud sa iningles ug tagalog ang pasahero oi. Abi nyo lalim, mayo na lang gani wala gisabayan tagaktak sa typwriter.)

Babae na kauban sa pasahero: “Ako pud biktima sad ko anang ka arogante diha sa terminal. Gi-ingnan nga dili ukayon kay kapoi ayos ana.Unya kay gi ukay nya, tapos singkahan pa nya ko na dili daw nila trabaho mag-arrange. Maayo ba na?”

Sundalo na babae: “Sa asa diay mo sir, mam? ( Samtang naa isa ka tenyente sad na sige lecture na murag bag-o ra ka sugakod ug checkpoint o di kaha basin tan-aw nya sa duha ka bisita murag mahuraw gyud nila)

Traveler:“Ah, ako si Keith Bacongco of Business Mirror”

Babae na kauban sa traveler: “Ako pud si Joselle Badilla sa Philippine Daily Inquirer.”

Pero at least nakabalo sila side sa pasahero. Matud pa sa ilang hari-hari na wala sad didto, pero nag text lang kanamo na: “Whatever his story his I will reassign him. Di na muna sya sa terminal. Thanks for your feedback. ”

Kani man gud na sitwasyon, pauna-unahay lang na eh. If you want that soldier to earn my respect, he shouldn’t have done it that way. In fact, I was the one who offered my bag for inspection. But even the way he approached me was already wrong.

Unsaon na lang tong uban na wala gyud guts mag complain? Unsaon na lang tong mga ordinaryo na mga pasahero diha? Although dili man tanan mga sundalo ana, naa man sad uban na maayo man mag approach sa mga pasahero. Kani na panghitabo, usahay ra ni sa usa ka bulan. Usahay wala pa gyud gani. Maayo unta kung ana permi bah.

Ug abi nya siguro mahuraw nya ko sa kadako nya ug kadako sa boses nya, no no man! Naniguang na ko ug kober anang mag sundaloha mo, mayo lang gani wala sad ko na warshock. Kabalo na ko sa katag nyo. Abi man gud nya siguro itoy-itoy lang ko na dala-dala ug kamatis aw camera diay…Pitbull ni bords, pitbull!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Trillanes one more time

10 reasons why Trillanes and company packed up (according to a forwarded email)

1) Not even his mother joined them

2) Oakwood had a better lobby

3) CNN was not there to cover it

4) The hotel had run out of ice cubes

5) The APCs were parked in the lobby and not the parking lot

6) Trillianes realized being teargassed was not part of his mandate as senator.

7) Guingona thought it was an anti-erap, or pro-erap pardon rally, whatever...

8) Surrender was better than the company of Father Robert Reyes.

9) Trillianes noticed people were crying not because of the tear gas but because of him

10) Even GMA was beginning to look better the longer they stayed.


10 reasons why they should have gone to Victoria Court instead

1) They were only gonna stay for a 'short time' anyway

2) Bishop Labayen and Fr. Robert Reyes could have heard confessions

3) They could have wet the towels in the jacuzzi to combat tear gas

4) There are no wedding receptions in Victoria Court. Only honeymoons.

5) Victoria always has more people than Manila Pen

6) The APC won't know which garage to park in, sobrang dami eh.

7) The ceiling mirrors would have thrown off the raiding party.

8) ABS-CBN could have done an episode of XXX and The Buzz while covering the standoff

9) 'What happens in Victoria Court stays in Victoria court'

10) It's a good place to get screwed

Friday, December 7, 2007

Lessons learned from Manila Pen

Sonny Trillanes has educated Filipinos on so many things:

1. It is possible to walk from Makati Trial Court to Manila Peninsula.

2. A tank can fit into the Manila Pen lobby.

3. Pinky Webb and Ces Drilon are not pretty with no makeup.

4. Ces Drilon has curly hair when it isnt blow dried.

5. Media are always the victims and the heroes even if they were accomplices in a hostage situation.

6. Guingona really has humongous ears.

7. Trillanes has serious receding hairline problems.

8. You can always turn your back to appear disdainful when you cant say anything profound.

9. You can talk about laying down your life and compare Manila Pen to Tirad Pass and still turn chicken at the first sign of teargas.

10. You can always chicken out and say it was to save lives even if it was primarily your own!


Tagalog version naman!

1. Pwede palang maglakad from Makati Trial Court to Manila Pen.

2. Kasya pala tangke sa hotel.

3. Pag naposasan pala media, nakakalimutan ang nag-aaklas, sila na muna pinag-uusapan.

4. Di pala maganda si Pinky Webb pag walang makeup.

5. Kulot pala si Ces Drilon pag di nag blower.

Kaya mga kapatid wag kalimutan pwede nang gawing educator si Trillanes, para din sa pagka pangulo ng mga sundalong madaling sumuko!





Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Manila Pen 101: To quote or not to quote

Samu't-saring kaalaman mula sa Manila Peninsula standoff starring Sonny Trillanes.

"What we did was not only our duty but our moral obligation," sabi ni Trillanes in justifying his latest act of defiance.

Dagdag pa niya: "It is our duty as religious individuals to do what is right."

Kahit ba nabigo ang Oakwood adventures nila.

Sagot naman ng isang kasamahan niya: "Yawa siya. Who's he to talk about moral obligation?"

Hirit pa ulit ni Trillanes : "The time is ripe for the Filipinos to make a decision."

Tapos bigla siyang tinanong ng mga reporters "Where are your supporters Sir?"

Trillanes: "They are everywhere."

At ang isa sa mga hinaing niya ay : “I entered politics. The people voted for me, but what did they do. They disrespected the more than 11 million votes that I got. They did not give representation to the people who voted for me.”

Not to mention the P100 per vote, a.k.a. vote-buying on the eve of the May 14 elections.

Sabi kasing gusto niyang makita ang table and chair niya sa loog ng Senado eh. Kulit niyo kasi.

Sayang naman term niya as Senador kaya humirit ulit siya: "I stood for the rights of the oppressed. We see now that this government will go to any length to hold on to power."

Haaaaayyyyy...

Di na nakatiis pa classmate niya buong araw eto ang status sa Yahoo Messenger niya: "I don't understand why there are people like Trillanes."

Hehehehe.

Kaya pagkatapos ng lahat lahat sa Manila pen, humirit na si CS Esperon: “We are relieved that it turned out this way. It wasn’t bloody.”

Korek check "it wasnt bloody" like the ruthless war in Mindanao.

Sinabi ni Esperon yan sa mga reporters shortly after dining on pork chop and rice with the military top brass at Villamor Air Base’s operations headquarters in Pasay City, where he monitored the hotel operations.

O divah sosyal. Pork chop and rice siya. Sa bundok sa kabuuhang pwersa ng sandatahang lakas, they are dining sardinas and rice. Nyahahaha.

Days after ng Manila Pen history, nagsalita na si Ces Drilon. May direct dial pala siya kay Trillanes.

“Another coworker told me to ask Trillanes if he was really up to something. So I called him up at midnight,” she added.

O divah... Kinabukasan katabi na niyang kinakausap si Sonny habang tinatahak ang daan papuntang Manila Pen mula sa Makati City Hall.

“If I knew what was going to happen, I wouldn’t have worn heels,” said Drilon, who marched, huffing, with Trillanes, Brig. Gen. Danilo Lim and a band of soldiers.

Pero taob silang lahat sa November 30, Saksi GMA7 news interview ni Mike Enriquez kay Maj. Gen. Fernando Mesa, head of the national capitol region command.

Kinamusta ni Mike ang sitwasyon sa Manila Pen matapos madakip sina Sonny at iba pa.

Sagot ni Gen. Mesa, "the jointness....of blah blah...." referring to the joint operation of the police and the Armed Forces of the Philippines.

Wagi! Pwede nang ipagtabi ang "jointness" ni Sir sa "escape goat" ni Ma'am live on TV.


At di pahuling humirit si CS Esperon sa mga kilos nila Trillanes... "We will not allow them to grab power because after all this is what they want?"

HuuuuuuuuuuuWhat?

That ends our Manila Pen... to quote or not to quote.









Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Remembering the man who wanted to win a pulitzer




How do we say goodbye to you Boyd?

It’s been three years since your assailant pulled the trigger in Jolo on November 12, 2004.

It is difficult to accept the fate that befell you so here we are, gathered today to share pieces of our memories of you. To many of us, you were not just a partner in coverage. You were a dear friend and touched the lives of journalists across the country.

It was your time Boyd, we gently let you go as you enjoy His
paradise, a place where there is no hurry to submit photos and where you can enjoy watching your favorite cartoons and play games online. No deadlines.

A year after the incident, murder charges were filed against two suspects. The police in the Autonomous Region in Muslim Mindanao (ARMM) said charges were filed in the office of the Sulu Provincial Prosecutor.

The head of the Task Force Lumawag then identified the suspects as Itting and Omar Sailani, both they said are members of the Abu Sayyaf group and wanted for kidnapping in Basilan in 2001. At that time they remained at large.

Two months later, then Southern Command chief Lt. Gen. Alberto Braganza said Itting Sailani was wounded in an encounter with members of the Marine Battalion Landing Team 9 (MBLT9) in Bus-bus, Jolo but escaped.

In June 20, 2007, the military said your perpetrators were slain by intelligence operatives while bathing at a river in Barangay Baiwas, Sumisip, Basilan. They still insisted it was the Sailani brothers who killed you.

I remember you.

Joy and I were on our way home when my cellphone rang four years ago. It was Dennis Sabangan, European Pressphoto Agency (EPA) Philippines chief, on the other line. Dennis usually calls when news breaks out or if he needs to verify information. He broke the news of your death while Joy and I were onboard a public utility vehicle nearing Bankerohan Bridge.

Dennis said over and over again, you wanted to be the Robert Capa of the Philippines.

Two or three weeks before you were killed, we had an online chat, the longest we had since you included me in your friends’ list. You were your usual obnoxious but lovable self – a character which we find endearing and frustrating at the same time.

I called you Boyd. You called me Yosel.

An early achiever in your age, you traveled to the outskirts of Mindanao, far down South and around the globe. Your latest conquest was a European football-crazed country, including Netherlands and Germany where you spent your first snowy Christmas.

Before we had that chat, Atty. Wakang and I met you at the old MindaNews office in General Luna Street on October 8 – our last glimpse of you.

The surprise and happy look on your face then was so comforting despite our rushing to go home to pack our things for a trip the next day. A trip that you called “for the poor” upon knowing we will be boarding the C130 cargo plane of the Philippine Air Force to Manila.

As we continue to kill time chatting, you called us again “pobre!” after knowing we didn’t push through with our original trip to Palawan (Wakang and I went to Manila, Baguio, Sagada, Bataan and Corregidor).

Of course our trip was nothing compared to your trips – on coverage or simply for leisure.

I recalled our first coverage together, which was purely accidental. The main purpose of joining you and Carol Arguillas (our bureau chief) in 1999 to cover the two missing climbers in Mt. Apo was for me to escape from the routinary “office mainstay” duties.

I can still remember how you smirked and patiently waited for me to answer Carol when she asked if I wanted to cover it and reminded me that it was my call.

You won people’s heart not through gentleness and kindness. You did it through intimidation.

I felt so rookie being with you in news coverage. You were full of life, your words full of sarcasm but peppered with truth.

You were a frequent flyer of the Air Force’s Huey helicopters just like Tatay Rene, your father. The 1999 coverage was my first and I was seated on the chair next to the pilots’ while you boarded the other chopper which was ferrying government and military officials. I couldn’t help myself but continually look at you, before both Hueys took off, just trying to get your attention and teach me how to buckle up. I ended covering my seatbelt with my jacket instead.

As we landed in Amas, North Cotabato for a short stopover before heading back to Davao, I went to your side and told you I didn’t buckle up during the entire flight. You laughed. You laughed Boyd and never stopped teasing me about it. You even announced it to other journalists.

PDI bureau chief Nico Alconaba was also your victim. On your way to Surigao on board a hired pick-up, the driver fell asleep and all of you ended on a ricefield.

Awaken by the incident, you said “murag wala na daw ta sa highway, humayan na siguro ni.”

Incidents of teasing, sarcasm and even intimidation complete your character.

Someday, others will be able to let you go and face the reality that you already joined the Chief Photographer up there.

He will be very glad to see you in His huge classroom, making you his very special student and perhaps be able to give you additional inputs in “Covering My children in Jolo 101.”

Filipino photojournalists raise their cameras during a sunset ceremony in your memory Boyd, even the Asia-Europe Foundation (ASEF) regret your early demise, you as their alumni. You were the first Filipino participant in the Asia-Europe Forum for Young Photographers in 2003 in Amsterdam, Netherlands in December of the same year, a partnership with the World Press Photo Foundation.

Even UNESCO Director-General Koichoro Matsura condemned your death.

Friday, November 23, 2007

MAN U's Theater of Dreams


Today, I got a text from Ewee, a senior football player in Davao City.
His dad passed away.
The news of his father's early demise was forwarded to other
football enthusiasts including Rizrap who is presently enjoying her two-week vacation in London.
Rizrap, a nurse in a travel profession is a football-fanatic.
She extended her condolences to Ewee and the rest of the family.
However, the "theater of dreams" caught her attention more.
Take this from a non ManU fan...
"I went to the Old Trafford last Monday.
It was blissful to be able to sit where Cistiano ronaldo, Rooney and Giggs
would sit in the dressing room, to hold and kiss the premiership trophy,
to sit in the director's box, to walk out from the dug out, etc. mura kog makahilak though I'm not a United fan."

Man U or not, football unites as all!
Together forever we will be singing the same Ole! song.
Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole, Ooole, Oooole, Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole!

Friday, November 16, 2007

Inday's deal!

DEAL or NO DEAL with INDAY

Kris: Magandang gabi mga kapamilya, as gameshow na Ito importante ang sagot as nag-iisang Katanungang Deal or no Deal. Ang ating player ngayong gabi ay walang iba kundi ang Fastest-rising household services manager na is Inday! [umentra is Inday at nagpalakpakan Ang mga Tao]

Kris: Ok Inday, choose a briefcase.

Inday: Kris, I would opt for case #4 please.

Kris: Briefcase # 4 is Sharmel. Inday, matanong ko lang, how did you come up with the number
4?

Inday: Oh, do you really want to know Kris?

Kris: Oo naman. I'm sure kaya ko naman maintindihan yung sasabihin MO he.

Inday: The number 4 was acquired based on a probability distribution function that involves
Integrating up to an area greater than or equal to that random number which should be Generated between 0 and 1 for proper distributions.

Kris: Syet. Tanong tanong pa kasi he.

Kris: Ok Inday, choose 6 briefcases to open.

Inday: I would opt for 7, 24, 12, 2, 15 and 20.

Kris: Wait lang Inday, usually isa isa lang ang pagbubukas natin ng case…

Inday: Why is that? As if I can change the outcome if we're to open a case each time I blurt out a Number as opposed to opening each case immediately one after the other right?

Kris: Hayyy…babaguhin pa talaga mechanics (bulong as sarili).

Kris: Anwyay, di bale na lang nga… tuloy tayo. Number 7. Natalie buksan na!! [Yung audience sumisigaw ng LOWER!! LOWER!!!]Kris: Teka lang, bago natin buksan… Inday, usually ang mga contestants naten ay sumisigaw ng "LOWER" every time magbubukas ng case.

Inday: Kris, I guess that's not the way I was taught in grade school. You see, I was taught that we Should only use the comparative form of the word or add "ER" to the adjective if we are Comparing two things. And since it is only the first briefcase that we are going to open, we Have nothing to compare it to. Am I right? [natahimik ang audience at napaisip]

Kris: Oo nga no!Kris: Sige Natalie, Buksan MO na. [Ang laman ng briefcase 7 ay Piso… Palakpakan ang mga Tao]Kris: Good start! Ano yung next case MO ulit?

Inday: Case number 24 please.

Kris: Chloe… buksan na…[Audience sumisigaw ulit ng LOWER!! LOWER!!]Kris: Wait lang guys, Inday may nabuksan ng case baket di ka pa rin sumisigaw ng "Lower"?

Inday: Oh my goodness Kris, how long have you been doing this? Have you ever encountered a Value that is lower than a peso in this game? Tell me, is there any value left lower than the One we just opened? Sheesh.[Napaisip ulit ang audience at natahimik]

Kris: Aarrgghh!!!! Chloe buksan na lang nga, pati na rin yung 12, 2, 15 and 20 buksan na rin para Matapos na. [naiirita na] [At sunod sunod na ngang nabukas ang mga case in Inday][nag-ring ang phone]

Inday: Ahh Kris, to save more time can you tell Banker that I'm not interested in his first offer. In The history of this game of chance, I have yet to see someone accept a first offer from the Banker. It's quite pathetic and pretentious for contestants to pause and look around the Audience as if asking for advice before ultimately rejecting the first offer. I mean come on, Isn't that a waste of airtime?

Banker: Potahhh!!! [narinig as set kahit sarado ang kwarto in banker] - Ito ang unang pagkakataon Na marinig ng mga audience ang boses in banker as Deal or no Deal.
… dumating na as kalagitnaan ng show at mukhang minamalas na is Inday…

Kris: Ok Inday, mukhang kelangan na natin ng tulong as mga friends MO… sino ba yung Bigotilyong lalaki na naka-polo? Ano name nya?

Inday: Ahh, that's my master Mr. Montemayor.

Kris: Ahhh say pala yun, how cute naman pala he. Sige sir, give us a number.

Mr. Montemayor: Hi Kris, good evening. I'm a fan. I choose number 12 please.

Kris: Ano Inday ok ba yung number 12?

Inday: Whatever, we shouldn't bite the hand that feeds us anyway. Go ahead.

Kris: [taray naman] Sofie, buksan na! [ang laman ng briefcase 12 ay 5,000]

Kris: Good job! Sino naman yung gwapong lalake na naka jumper na katabi in Mr. Montemayor?
What's his name?

Inday: Ahh, that's my on again off again boyfriend, Dodong the gardener.

Kris: Ooohh, sya pala yun. Ok Dodong, give us a number!

Dodong: Hi babes, I choose briefcase 9 if it's ok with you. If not, it's ok with me as long as it's ok with you.

Kris: Ano raw? Inday, number 9 daw ok say0?

Inday: Yes Kris, it's fine with me.

Kris: Wow ang bait pag kay Dodong. Ederlyn… buksan na!!!
…nanlaki ang mga mata ni Inday at hindi sya makapaniwala. Natahimik at mukhang kakapusin sya ng hininga…

Inday: YOU!!! How dare you invade my moment! [nagulat si Kris at ang mga audience sa reaksyon ni Inday. Nagpatawag si Kris ng commercial break at nagpakuha ng tubig para kay
Inday.]Nagkatitigan sina Inday at Ederlyn. Nakangisi si Ederlyn habang hawak ang briefcase ni Inday.

Ederlyn: Pinapangako ko, Inday… pagbukas luluhod ang mga tala! hahahahaha!

Inday: What? Can you speak up? What are you mumbling up there. Can somebody give her a microphone please?

Kris: Ano ba!! Tama na nga ang drama ninyo, Ederlyn buksan mo na ang case at umexit ka na kung ayaw mong mapalitan! (naiirita na si Kris)
Dali-daling binuksan ni Ederlyn ang briefcase at ang laman ay… P3,000,000.Nanghinayang ang mga audience… Ang mga natirang values ay 250, 1K, 20K, 50K, and 500K.

Inday: NooOoo…. (sabay tingin kay Dodong at napapaluha), how could you…

Dodong: I'm so sorry Inday, please forgive me.

Kris: Hayyy, drama again. Ang offer ni banker sa pagbabalik ng Kapamilya, Deal.. or No Deal! [pagtapos ng commercial break… mukhang composed na ulit si Inday]

Kris: Inday, are you okay? Ang offer ni banker ay 99 thousand pesos. 'Sing rami siguro ng pilipinong pinadugo mo na ilong. Is it a Deal or No Deal? Tahimik lang si Inday tilang may kinocompute sa ulo habang ang mga audience ay nagsisigawan ng "No Deal", ang iba naman ay "Deal".

Kris: Wait lang, kung mapapansin ninyo we have only have 5 cases left, and among those 5, apat doon ay mas maliit na value…
Inday: Kris, do you mind? Can I do my own thinking?Natameme si Kris, pati ang audience ay natahimik.

Kris: Taray to the max! (pabulong sa sarili)

Inday: Ok, I'm ready. Upon looking at the reality of the situation, 80% of the cases left have at least 49K less than the banker's offer. The only way I can do better than what is offered is that if my case contains the 500k or I'd get to open one of the four lower values. But I have to keep in mind that there's only 20% probability that this would happen. I have to take note, however, that the banker's offer is roughly around 15% lower than the offer I expected based on the arithmetic mean of the values left.

Kris: Lorddd… panaginip ba 'to? Ayokonaaa….

Inday: Accepting a deal for less than the mean should generally be regarded as a weak decision so I would say, NO DEAL!Limang briefcase na lang ang natitira at kasama na doon ang case ni Inday…

Kris: My God, nakaka-stress itong episode na ito ha. Baka dumugo na rin ang ilong ko sa'yo

Inday. Sige Inday, go ahead and choose 1 briefcase!

Inday: Ok Kris, I choose briefcase #5 please?

Kris: Briefcase #5! Mimi bago mo buksan yan I would first like to thank Figliarina by Schubizz for my sandals, Bambi Fuentes for my hair and make-up and Pepsi Herrera for my gown tonight.

Kris: Ok Mimi, buk…

Inday: Ahh Kris, can I also take time to thank a few people? I mean, I did save us a few minutes of airtime right?

Kris: ("kapal naman talaga ng mukha"…bulong sa sarili) Sige, ok lang go ahead. (naka-smile pa rin)

Inday: Thanks! Yes, I would like to thank Frank Provost for my hair and make-up, Jimmy Choo for my sandals and my dear friend Oscar dela Renta for my gown tonight.BLAG!! Tinumba ni Kris ang podium at nagwalk-out. Hindi na natapos ang show kaya't binigyan na lang ni Banker si Inday ng kalahating milyon para sa kanyang oras.

Inday: Oh, and thanks to the people of Cartier for sending me these nice earrings for tonight!
[Ito ang isa sa mga un-aired episode ng Kapamilya, Deal or No Deal]