MAN U's Theater of Dreams

Today, I got a text from Ewee, a senior football player in Davao City.

His dad passed away.

The news of his father's early demise was forwarded to other

football enthusiasts including Rizrap who is presently enjoying her two-week vacation in London.

Rizrap, a nurse in a travel profession is a football-fanatic.

She extended her condolences to Ewee and the rest of the family.

However, the "theater of dreams" caught her attention more.

Take this from a non ManU fan...

"I went to the Old Trafford last Monday.

It was blissful to be able to sit where Cistiano ronaldo, Rooney and Giggs

would sit in the dressing room, to hold and kiss the premiership trophy,

to sit in the director's box, to walk out from the dug out, etc. mura kog makahilak though I'm not a United fan."

Man U or not, football unites as all!

Together forever we will be singing the same Ole! song.

Ole! Ole! Ole! Ole, Ooole, Oooole, Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole!

Inday's deal!

DEAL or NO DEAL with INDAY

Kris: Magandang gabi mga kapamilya, as gameshow na Ito importante ang sagot as nag-iisang Katanungang Deal or no Deal. Ang ating player ngayong gabi ay walang iba kundi ang Fastest-rising household services manager na is Inday! [umentra is Inday at nagpalakpakan Ang mga Tao]

Kris: Ok Inday, choose a briefcase.

Inday: Kris, I would opt for case #4 please.

Kris: Briefcase # 4 is Sharmel. Inday, matanong ko lang, how did you come up with the number
4?

Inday: Oh, do you really want to know Kris?

Kris: Oo naman. I'm sure kaya ko naman maintindihan yung sasabihin MO he.

Inday: The number 4 was acquired based on a probability distribution function that involves
Integrating up to an area greater than or equal to that random number which should be Generated between 0 and 1 for proper distributions.

Kris: Syet. Tanong tanong pa kasi he.

Kris: Ok Inday, choose 6 briefcases to open.

Inday: I would opt for 7, 24, 12, 2, 15 and 20.

Kris: Wait lang Inday, usually isa isa lang ang pagbubukas natin ng case…

Inday: Why is that? As if I can change the outcome if we're to open a case each time I blurt out a Number as opposed to opening each case immediately one after the other right?

Kris: Hayyy…babaguhin pa talaga mechanics (bulong as sarili).

Kris: Anwyay, di bale na lang nga… tuloy tayo. Number 7. Natalie buksan na!! [Yung audience sumisigaw ng LOWER!! LOWER!!!]Kris: Teka lang, bago natin buksan… Inday, usually ang mga contestants naten ay sumisigaw ng "LOWER" every time magbubukas ng case.

Inday: Kris, I guess that's not the way I was taught in grade school. You see, I was taught that we Should only use the comparative form of the word or add "ER" to the adjective if we are Comparing two things. And since it is only the first briefcase that we are going to open, we Have nothing to compare it to. Am I right? [natahimik ang audience at napaisip]

Kris: Oo nga no!Kris: Sige Natalie, Buksan MO na. [Ang laman ng briefcase 7 ay Piso… Palakpakan ang mga Tao]Kris: Good start! Ano yung next case MO ulit?

Inday: Case number 24 please.

Kris: Chloe… buksan na…[Audience sumisigaw ulit ng LOWER!! LOWER!!]Kris: Wait lang guys, Inday may nabuksan ng case baket di ka pa rin sumisigaw ng "Lower"?

Inday: Oh my goodness Kris, how long have you been doing this? Have you ever encountered a Value that is lower than a peso in this game? Tell me, is there any value left lower than the One we just opened? Sheesh.[Napaisip ulit ang audience at natahimik]

Kris: Aarrgghh!!!! Chloe buksan na lang nga, pati na rin yung 12, 2, 15 and 20 buksan na rin para Matapos na. [naiirita na] [At sunod sunod na ngang nabukas ang mga case in Inday][nag-ring ang phone]

Inday: Ahh Kris, to save more time can you tell Banker that I'm not interested in his first offer. In The history of this game of chance, I have yet to see someone accept a first offer from the Banker. It's quite pathetic and pretentious for contestants to pause and look around the Audience as if asking for advice before ultimately rejecting the first offer. I mean come on, Isn't that a waste of airtime?

Banker: Potahhh!!! [narinig as set kahit sarado ang kwarto in banker] - Ito ang unang pagkakataon Na marinig ng mga audience ang boses in banker as Deal or no Deal.
… dumating na as kalagitnaan ng show at mukhang minamalas na is Inday…

Kris: Ok Inday, mukhang kelangan na natin ng tulong as mga friends MO… sino ba yung Bigotilyong lalaki na naka-polo? Ano name nya?

Inday: Ahh, that's my master Mr. Montemayor.

Kris: Ahhh say pala yun, how cute naman pala he. Sige sir, give us a number.

Mr. Montemayor: Hi Kris, good evening. I'm a fan. I choose number 12 please.

Kris: Ano Inday ok ba yung number 12?

Inday: Whatever, we shouldn't bite the hand that feeds us anyway. Go ahead.

Kris: [taray naman] Sofie, buksan na! [ang laman ng briefcase 12 ay 5,000]

Kris: Good job! Sino naman yung gwapong lalake na naka jumper na katabi in Mr. Montemayor?
What's his name?

Inday: Ahh, that's my on again off again boyfriend, Dodong the gardener.

Kris: Ooohh, sya pala yun. Ok Dodong, give us a number!

Dodong: Hi babes, I choose briefcase 9 if it's ok with you. If not, it's ok with me as long as it's ok with you.

Kris: Ano raw? Inday, number 9 daw ok say0?

Inday: Yes Kris, it's fine with me.

Kris: Wow ang bait pag kay Dodong. Ederlyn… buksan na!!!
…nanlaki ang mga mata ni Inday at hindi sya makapaniwala. Natahimik at mukhang kakapusin sya ng hininga…

Inday: YOU!!! How dare you invade my moment! [nagulat si Kris at ang mga audience sa reaksyon ni Inday. Nagpatawag si Kris ng commercial break at nagpakuha ng tubig para kay
Inday.]Nagkatitigan sina Inday at Ederlyn. Nakangisi si Ederlyn habang hawak ang briefcase ni Inday.

Ederlyn: Pinapangako ko, Inday… pagbukas luluhod ang mga tala! hahahahaha!

Inday: What? Can you speak up? What are you mumbling up there. Can somebody give her a microphone please?

Kris: Ano ba!! Tama na nga ang drama ninyo, Ederlyn buksan mo na ang case at umexit ka na kung ayaw mong mapalitan! (naiirita na si Kris)
Dali-daling binuksan ni Ederlyn ang briefcase at ang laman ay… P3,000,000.Nanghinayang ang mga audience… Ang mga natirang values ay 250, 1K, 20K, 50K, and 500K.

Inday: NooOoo…. (sabay tingin kay Dodong at napapaluha), how could you…

Dodong: I'm so sorry Inday, please forgive me.

Kris: Hayyy, drama again. Ang offer ni banker sa pagbabalik ng Kapamilya, Deal.. or No Deal! [pagtapos ng commercial break… mukhang composed na ulit si Inday]

Kris: Inday, are you okay? Ang offer ni banker ay 99 thousand pesos. 'Sing rami siguro ng pilipinong pinadugo mo na ilong. Is it a Deal or No Deal? Tahimik lang si Inday tilang may kinocompute sa ulo habang ang mga audience ay nagsisigawan ng "No Deal", ang iba naman ay "Deal".

Kris: Wait lang, kung mapapansin ninyo we have only have 5 cases left, and among those 5, apat doon ay mas maliit na value…
Inday: Kris, do you mind? Can I do my own thinking?Natameme si Kris, pati ang audience ay natahimik.

Kris: Taray to the max! (pabulong sa sarili)

Inday: Ok, I'm ready. Upon looking at the reality of the situation, 80% of the cases left have at least 49K less than the banker's offer. The only way I can do better than what is offered is that if my case contains the 500k or I'd get to open one of the four lower values. But I have to keep in mind that there's only 20% probability that this would happen. I have to take note, however, that the banker's offer is roughly around 15% lower than the offer I expected based on the arithmetic mean of the values left.

Kris: Lorddd… panaginip ba 'to? Ayokonaaa….

Inday: Accepting a deal for less than the mean should generally be regarded as a weak decision so I would say, NO DEAL!Limang briefcase na lang ang natitira at kasama na doon ang case ni Inday…

Kris: My God, nakaka-stress itong episode na ito ha. Baka dumugo na rin ang ilong ko sa'yo

Inday. Sige Inday, go ahead and choose 1 briefcase!

Inday: Ok Kris, I choose briefcase #5 please?

Kris: Briefcase #5! Mimi bago mo buksan yan I would first like to thank Figliarina by Schubizz for my sandals, Bambi Fuentes for my hair and make-up and Pepsi Herrera for my gown tonight.

Kris: Ok Mimi, buk…

Inday: Ahh Kris, can I also take time to thank a few people? I mean, I did save us a few minutes of airtime right?

Kris: ("kapal naman talaga ng mukha"…bulong sa sarili) Sige, ok lang go ahead. (naka-smile pa rin)

Inday: Thanks! Yes, I would like to thank Frank Provost for my hair and make-up, Jimmy Choo for my sandals and my dear friend Oscar dela Renta for my gown tonight.BLAG!! Tinumba ni Kris ang podium at nagwalk-out. Hindi na natapos ang show kaya't binigyan na lang ni Banker si Inday ng kalahating milyon para sa kanyang oras.

Inday: Oh, and thanks to the people of Cartier for sending me these nice earrings for tonight!
[Ito ang isa sa mga un-aired episode ng Kapamilya, Deal or No Deal]

The price is steep, even in death

It has been years since I encountered a loss in the family but the trauma, pain and longing remain to this day.

I remember receiving a death text notice from a family friend as early as 6.13 in the morning… years ago.

Months ago, my friends and I visited a wake of a college buddy whose family member died of another illness.

My father's long battle with liver cirrhosis lasted for almost two years while my travel buddy’s brother's fight against pancreatitis lasted for a year and two weeks.

Back to the memory lane of having to hear the words “sorry to hear about your loss,” “at least he finally rested,” so on and so forth.
But he put so neatly: “Nag report na siya kay Lord after a year of fight.”
Years ago, as he painfully watched his younger brother's struggle against life inside the Intensive Care Unit of the Quirino Memorial Hospital, my comforting words was: “It's a long wait, but it should not sadden you. God decides on the culmination of any human life. When your Jojo is ready it will be serenely.”
And so at 2 a.m. one Friday, another life was called.

Believe me when I say, I know the feeling of having to see someone suffer and fight against this beautiful life because I was a witness on death when it called my father.

Isn't it hard to pray to God to take someone's life even if its purpose is to lessen the suffering and pain? And knowing that in the end He is still the one who decides when is the best time, His will we should always respect but do not always understand.

Apart from the pain of seeing a love one suffer, finding money to pay hospital bills and medicines is another problem.
What is more costly is it living or dying?
Let me talk about the cost of dying, with my father as an example.

Phase I
Before death:
Check-up + medicine prescription = money.
Passport for his check-ups: The powerful HMO card.
You may not pay for the check-up but you are obliged to buy all the medicines prescribed by the doctor.
How would we cope with the P250-P300 check-up fee and the maintenance medicines?
In short, my father was just lucky that he had an extended lease on his life courtesy of the HMO card.

Phase II
Hospitalization + medicine prescription = money.
First, our family had a verbal tussle as my father refused to be brought to the hospital for the nth time. Dehydrated and too weak to do battle with the tears shed by the family, he finally agreed to be confined.
The tiger in the house finally succumbed to our pleas and stayed for almost a month.
It was a montage on the usual patient-in-the-hospital-fighting-to-live drama in real life.
I will not talk on how he fought to live from the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) to Cardio Care Unit (CCU) to his hospital room, and vice-versa, not to mention how he gave those attending nurses and doctors’ headaches.
Now let's categorize the scenarios before dying:
Category I: the sick or the dying did not make it to the hospital, died at home or somewhere else.
Category II: the sick or the dying eventually expired while being rush to hospital or
Category III: the sick made it to hospital but unfortunately expired while being treated.
My father was classified under the third category. His heart surrendered while being treated but according to his death certificate, the immediate cause of death was CRF secondary to gouty nephropathy. Antecedent cause: chronic atrial fibrillation.
Underlying cause: liver cirrhosis.
Whatever those above mentioned medical terms mean, I just know one thing, my father died because he was too tired to fight death and that God was just around the corner that day waiting to be acknowledged.
However, before he gasped his last breath - there was one final request, this time not about taking care of our mother.
He has another love, we knew about this all along.
Naah there was no other woman but his beloved fighting cocks. But this is another story. Now let's go to the third phase of the cost of dying.

Phase III
The wake = money.
For sure when a family member dies, the rest of the family members argue about what coffin to buy, what color, what services, how many days for interment, where to be buried, is cremation an option? how much? etc. etc.
The death certificate alone costs about P100 and needed before you can do any transactions.
Here's the breakdown:
Coffin = P7,500 (cheapest)
P150,000 (expensive).
Flowers = Pxxxxx
Food = Pxxxxxx
Accommodation (my registered nurse sister and I called this board and lodging) = (depends if its non-air or air-conditioned).

In 2003, our family bargained for a P40,000 coffin from its original price of P55,000 with P2,500 a night in an air-conditioned accommodation – the last hurray in paying respects to the man who taught us more than just being streetsmart.
The cheapest “coffin-wake” package is about P7,500, a simple coffin made of ordinary plywood, with free three nights accommodation at a funeral home.
So, after everything's settled from what attire the dead will wear, to the color of the coffin, flowers, etc comes the final phase.

Phase IV
Burial = lot in a cemetery + payment for the cemetery lot diggers + food after the interment = (again) money, your last stroke.
What transpired during the wake will be totally different during the burial. This includes finding a decent cemetery.
But as I said, nothing is free. Even for the digging of soil (which we know would be the same soil that will cover the coffin) will cost you.
Yes, you have to pay for it. It is not included in the package whether you get two or three or four lots in the cemetery. To give you an idea, it's just like acquiring a high-end new mobile phone.
So, there you are an estimate on the cost of the dying.
Life they say is a finite lease and all you have to do is make the most of it.
Those who said goodbye to their leased life finally got their ultimate vacation in His paradise, a place where everything in the garden is lovely.
There they can talk about anything under the sun without having to worry about beating the deadlines.
Dying is ain't good as living but for me death is just another life... a life not having to think on the cost of dying.

Integrity in action

Back view





Sabi ng katabi nya cute daw boxers niya.

And then... side view ... with a smile.

>>> this photo by AKP Images

Si Inday (Part II)

Ating gunitain ang iba pang mga nasabi ni Inday tungkol sa mga bagay-bagay sa buhay.


Sagot ni Inday nung tanungin ni Sir kung bakit my rashes si Jun-Jun..

"Allergens triggered the immune response. Eosinophilic migration occurs to the rxn site and release of chemotactic and anaphylotoxin including histamine and prostaglandins. These substances result to incomplete circulation to the site promoting redness."


Ang isda bow!

Amo: "Inday, bumili ka nga ng mga isda. Ay oo nga pala, inglesera ka na ngayon. Would you please buy many fishes for this week's meals?"

Inday: "Judging by your statement, I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term 'fishes' although rarely used, connotes a plethora of different kinds of the said gilled aquatic creatures. But the more pressing questions before I go to the wet market would be: "What type of fish? Fillet or not? Frozen of fresh? (pauses)......
Ahhhh... Given the meager budget afforded by this household's quasi-peasant class taste, I assume I shall source the staple "ga-leewng-gong."
Am I correct?"


Inday nung nagrereklamo kasi ayaw siyang isama ng amo sa outing sa Enchanted Kingdom.

"Don't limit my capacity in the four corners of this luxurious abode. Expose me to the real challenges of the outside world. I want to grow as an individual with dynamic experiences."



Sinabi ni Inday sa amo niya noong di siya pinautang.

"Nurther others with positive, truthful words, not words that hurt. It doesn't cost anything to do so. But mean whay you say, and say what you mean. If you cannot be generous financially, at least be generous with your words."


Si Inday nong tumangging makipagtismisan sa katulong sa kabilang bahay!


"Much as I want to indulge in the proliferation of such indecent and malicious information, I want to lift the stigma and alleviate society's perception of our profession."


Pinagalitan ni Inday si Junior sa sobrang lapit manood ng TV.

"Did it ever occur to you that the ultraviolet rays of the idiot box can bring harmful radiation to the retinal area? It could lead to blurred vision, worse, permanent blindness?

Si Inday ng buhay natin

Isang buwan na rin akong napatawa ng mga statements ni Inday.

Ang balita ko may information officer daw itong si Inday na walang humpay na nagpapadala ng mga texts sa mga may cellphone sa buong Pinas.

Dati si Inday laging inaapi. Ngayon palaban na siya.

Imposibleng ni minsan hindi niyo na-encounter ang katarayan niya sa mga panahong ito.

Eto ang mga halimbawang explinasyon ni Inday sa lahat ng bagay.

"Ma'am / Sir,

I hereby tender my irrevocable resignation as your employee effective today. It has been a pleasant stay in your company, but owing to personal reasons, I am compelled to move on. I would like to thank you and your good management for the wonderful experience accorded to me during my stay in Your company.

Yours Truly,
Inday

Sulat in inday nang umalis say as dati nyang amo. . Lufeeeet !!!

* * *

Tapos eto sagot ni Inday sa interview ng bago niyang amo!

"I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the
Use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute
Significantly to the value of the work that you want, my creativity,
Productivity and work-efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can
Offer will boost the work progress."

* * *

- sagot in Inday nang tanungin ng amo kung bakit may bukol is Junior.

"Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered
Architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium
With a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ."

* * *

- nag-explain is Inday kung bakit maalat ang ulam.

"The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased
Amount of sodium chloride (NaCl) affected the taste drastically and those
Actions are irreversible. I do apologize."

* * *

Donya: Bakit tuwing paguwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng TV?!

Inday: Because I don't want you to see me doing absolutely nothing.

* * *

- Si Inday, kasama si Junior sa principal's office.

"It's absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight. I can
Only imagine how you handle schizophrenic kids on this educational
Institution. Revise your policies because they suck!"

* * *

Amo: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura as likod ng bahay?!

Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occurred wrecking havoc
To the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the
Gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading
For.

At biglang ng nosebleed ang Amo

* * *

Si Inday, pinagbabawalan ang mga bata na maglikot.

"Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property damages
And if that happens there will be corresponding punishment to be inflicted
upon you!"

* * *

Sagot ni Inday kung bakit umalis si Angel Locsin sa GMA7.

"Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but
Because they just know that things will get worse if they'll stay.
Leaving can be a tough act, and it's harder when people can't understand
You for doing so."

* * *

Amo: Inday, Bakit Mo binenta ung sirang silya?

Inday : I computed the chair's fair value less cost to sell and the
Value in use using projections for 5 years at a pretax discount rate.
Accordingly, the value in use is lower, so I decided to sell the chair.
This is in accordance with PAS 18-Revenue, PAS 16-Property, Plant, &
Equipment, and PAS 36 on Impairment of Assets.

At hinimatay na ang amo ni Inday...

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